23 September 2016

The Meaning of Liff



Kreativ Riting






A

Andrew 
 
Alternative





Arachnid 
Autonomy
Autonomous



When a kangaroo is your +1

White people
The state of AC current half the time
Gay nightclub for bees
Every other local
Utterance describing a requirement to fondle breasts

A refusal to do as everyone else is doing
When everything tastes nice

Engine not powered by mice
When all large servings taste nice

B

Blog 

Blogg
BB-8


Very small log
Premature end to a blowjob
To blow a kiss to a horse before a race for luck

8mm footage of bouncing breasts
Best before the 8th
Buyer Beware (grade 8/10)
Eight BB’s.

C

Collective

Constantly
Crap
Cursive
Cursory 
Context
Caramel


Clutchypaw 

Clutch



Gathering honey
When a ballot count ends in a dead tie
Never
Substandard rap
Tendency to swear
Tendency to swear when angry
SMS from Nigeria
Cara Melissa or Cara Mary Elizabeth LaLaLand
A smelly vehicle or one that’s hellish to drive

The way smokers keep a lighter to the palm 

Revs the Bong
D

Death
Disposition
Decimated



DV-8

E

Exact
Extractor



Fat Beth
This position
Having sex in groups of ten.
Making ten new friends in a nightclub
 The reversal of the process that creates a Cim
8-bit digital video format popular with pornographers 




A former act
Person who used to like tractors

F

Funny  


A sneeze by knight who says ‘Ni’
G

Glowing


General luxury debt
H

Horny

Obsessed with playing the bugle
Knee of ill repute
I

Indisposition
Indisposed
Inoculate
iDV-8 


Not this position (UK) In this position (US)
Past tense of ‘In this pose’
A fender-bender accident that makes you late
Proprietary codec used in litigation

J

Jade



French for “I am Ade”

K

Killbot


A very cool (or unwell) robot called K

L

Lactate 
Big Boob Mythology 



Without Tate
Breast/bra size mismatch
M

MR2
Malformed



(French) Shit
The influence of caramel on body shape
Having parents named Malcolm or Mallory

N

Never



Once
O

Often  
Once    



Constantly
Often

P

OPQ

Pee
Piss

Predicting Text
Predictive Text 



Oh, pee queue
Entertainment
Drunken, poorly aimed form of pee
The learning curve associated with typing mobile texts quickly.
Writing down what you think will happen

Q

QE2



Spanish for “What, again?”

R

Randy
Recursive

Ronaldo



Southern for “Andrew”
See Recursive
Kids that like to run around in very tight circles

S

Seriously
Sex    

Subtext



A test of your IQ. The correct response is ‘No”,
Female equivalent of work
Male equivalent of everything
Ability to write upside down
Fine print
When you’re bettered by a Texan of diminutive stature
Ship markings below the water line
Satan’s memoirs

T

Tardy
Tardigrade
Tarot
Tattooine
Terminal Velocity
Trainspotting

Text


Ted



When tarmac is laid straight, then in a semicircle
Compromise to tarmac integrity over time
The carrot / The row
Tattooing in Japan
Bicycle shed in France
Skills coaching for Dalmatians
What retired trains do all day
T-extension (outside)
When letters have questionable relationships.
When an ex comes between titties
Short form of the name Teddery
A soft toy belonging to Teddery
Something that happened already

U

Unanimous
Underling
Untie

uDV-8



If the animous was a mistake
To reset following a derling
Lowering the necktie
Picture a tie. It's not that.
Advanced bondage practice
A very, very small spy camera

V

Velociraptor

Virtual Reality



French bicycle packaging facility
Method of wrapping girls very quickly
Not real, but almost
When everyone’s virtues are suddenly  absent

W

Wee
Wheee
Whooping Cough
wiiDV-

Work



Pee
Long pee in a windy place
The crank that starts the motor
Requiring a machine to share an experience 

Swear word
X

Xenophobia









Xenomorph



An irrational fear of crossing an eno
An evil Greek goddess, large of breast
pH neutral bacteria found in xylophones
Extinct miniature subspecies of boa constrictor prone to entanglement 
(Obi-Wan:) “Xeno, oh, please help! Orange biscuit indoor anthill.”
An irrational fear of J Leno
An irrational fear of Ken
Person previously xenophobic, and / or previously xenomorphic

Y-Z

Yawp
Yonder
Yukon  


Zen

Zebra




A yawn halted by a hiccup
The idiot over there    
You can’t

Then, with a twang
Mosquito turbo boost
Street greeting, “There, brother” (Netherlands: “Sea, brother”)





 ------

list made by me for no reason whatsoever

-------

We ourselves make the truth



30 June 2016

The Best of Chaos



 

Chaos in Graffiti


Back in 1991 in London I saw a short documentary by the BBC about ‘Taggers’ and the state of graffiti in the capital. Of course, 'street art' has subsequently taken off, but then it was in the same class as piercings, tattoos and other sure-fire signs of delinquency. It’s actually on YouTube, which is unusual…
 From "Drawing The Line" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZc0kLb7mHc


The moment it all kicked off

At one point the camera fell on some art on a bridge, and one of the rozzers commented that it said ‘Chaos’. And this made quite an impression on me. Much later, I toyed with the text with a view to setting a tattoo. 

First incarnation of the tattoo, based around a star


Final incarnation

That would be me


In looking for some inspiration, I unearthed a fair amount of ‘Chaos’ in graffiti and much, much later, when Google became a thing, it transpired that this word had been reproduced frequently, everywhere. Just Google ‘Chaos Graffiti’ and you’ll see what I mean.


A few of the better image results from the Chaotic World at Large

Here are the best examples from around the world, IMHO, that I have retained from 1998 until now. My favourites are the those on trains... and I would know how difficult that is to pull off. At any rate, some shots are taken by myself here in Cape Town, some are not online but I’m sure many of them are. However, all of them say just one thing…






and now... not trains














And now you can even do a tutorial on YouTube if you have Chaos specifically in mind...

Chaos Tuts on YouTube



31 May 2016

The Largest Aircraft to have ever Taken to the Skies



THE LARGEST AIRPLANES TO HAVE EVER FLOWN


We’re not counting airships here… that’s unfair. Similarly, the ‘Wing-in-Ground-Effect’ Ekranoplans have their own, unique category. These are all true aeroplanes (what 'airplanes' are called here), the largest heavier-than-air behemoths in World history.

01. Antonov AN124 Ruslan


This giant was designed by the Soviet Union as a strategic airlift plane, back in the early 1980s. Its first flight was in 1986 and it’s still used today, although production stopped back in August 2014. It can carry 150 tons of cargo and is the largest military aircraft.




02. Corvair XC-99


Only one of these huge planes was ever built as a prototype, back in the 1940s. Based on the Convair B-36 Bomber, this plane was the biggest land-based transport aircraft with a piston-engine to have ever been built. It’s first and only flight was on the 24th November 1947 in California. It’s now in the National Museum of the United States Air Force in Dayton, Ohio.


03. Blohm & Voss BV238


Known as a “ (very large) flying boat” or a “flugboot”, this plane was the largest aircraft built by any of the German allies during World War II, but only one was ever completed. The prototype was destroyed, and further development scrapped, by the end of the war.


04. Hughes H4 Hercules "Spruce Goose"

The Hughes H-4 Hercules (also known as the "Spruce Goose") is a prototype strategic airlift flying boat designed and built by the Hughes Aircraft Company. Intended as a transatlantic flight transport for use during World War II, it was not completed in time to be used in the war. The aircraft made only one brief flight in 1947 and the project never advanced beyond the single example produced.

Built from wood because of wartime restrictions on the use of aluminium and concerns about weight, it was nicknamed the "Spruce Goose", although it was made almost entirely of birch. The Hercules is the largest flying boat ever built and had the largest wingspan of any aircraft in history (321 ft or 98m) up until the "Stratolaunch" (see end). It remains in good condition and is on display at the Evergreen Aviation & Space Museum in McMinnville, Oregon, United States.

05. Antonov An-225 Mriya


The Antonov An-225 Mriya (Ukrainian: Антонов Ан-225 Мрія (Dream), NATO reporting name: "Cossack") is a strategic airlift cargo aircraft that was designed by the Soviet Union's Antonov Design Bureau in the 1980s.  It is powered by six turbofan engines and is the longest and heaviest airplane ever built, with a maximum takeoff weight of 640 tonnes (710 short tons). It also has the largest wingspan of any aircraft in operational service.

The Antonov An-225, initially developed for the task of transporting the Buran spaceplane, was an enlargement of the successful Antonov An-124. The first and only An-225 was completed in 1988.  The airlifter holds the absolute world records for an airlifted single item payload of 189,980 kilograms (418,834 pounds), and an airlifted total payload of 253,820 kg (559,577 lb).



06. Convair B-36 Peacemaker


Despite the name, this plane is a strategic bomber. Built in the 1940s, its first flight was on the 8th August 1946. 384 of these were produced between 1946 and 1954, making it also one of the most popular - and with nuclear armament capability - most deadly on the list.


07. Ilyushin II-76


The Soviets seem to have a bit of a knack when it comes to large aircraft, and this was one of their first jet cargo planes. No matter what the weather or terrain, this plane can do it all – making it one of the most versatile of all the aircraft on our list. It is still in production today. Pictured: the IL-76D water tanker.


08. Zeppelin-Staaken R.VI


We’re going all the way back to 1916 now, with one of the biggest aircraft during WW1 – at least one of the biggest to be regularly used. The Germans created this 138 ft (42m) wingspan wooden plane as a strategic bomber and 18 were built in total.

 

 

09. Boeing C-17 Globemaster III


The Globemaster III is used as a cargo plane, and can take off or land in practically any terrain. The United States Air Force are clearly big fans of their creation, having over 260 in active use in 2016. Wingspan is170 ft (51m) with an 80-ton equipment limit.


10. Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules


Still in active use, the Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules , is currently being used by air forces in over 14 countries. Able to fly slowly owing to the turboprops, the plane can be fitted as a water tanker for remote fire control. Known locally as a ‘Flossie’, the C130 and C160 troop transporters have rear-facing seats for safety.


11. Martin JRM Mars


The Martin JRM Mars is the largest of any of the flying boats in existence, and was built by the US. Only seven were built in total, between 1945 and 1948.


12. Junkers JU 390


As with many of the planes on this list, the Junker JU 390 was only ever really built as a prototype. The Germans designed and built this plane in order to use it as a heavy transport aircraft, and also as a long-range bomber. At the time, it was the largest aircraft to have ever been built – until the Blohm & Voss 238 had its maiden flight. It had a wingspan of just over 165 ft.


13. Lockheed C-5 Galaxy


This is one of the largest military planes in the world that’s still in use – and it’s one of the most modern on our list, despite hailing from the late 1960s. This transport aircraft is used primarily by the United States Air Force, although there are 131 in circulation around the world. Back in 1998 these cost a whopping $152.8 million to make, but the newest versions now cost less than $90 million.


14. Boeing B-29 Superfortress


This military aircraft was absolutely huge for its time and quickly became a popular plane during World War II and the Korean War. The plane, used mainly by the US, was extremely advanced for its time; having first been introduced in 1944. During a its 3 year production run nearly 4,000 were produced and used until its retirement in 1960. The Boeing B-29 Superfortress had a whopping wingspan of just over 141 ft.


15. Antonov An-22


This military transport aircraft was designed and built by the Russians back in 1966, and is still in active service today. The Antonov An-22 is powered by four turboprop engines, making it the largest turboprop aircraft to still be in use today. It’s thought that just under 70 of these were built between 1966 and 1976, although they’re currently being phased out by the An-124.


16. Boeing B-52 Stratofortress


Back to a more modern military aircraft now, and yet another to be designed and built for the US Air Force. This Boeing offering is nothing short of a giant, with a wingspan of 185 ft and a maximum take-off weight of 488,000lb. This strategic bomber was first produced in 1952, taking to the skies in April of the same year. Production was stopped 10 years later after around 750 were built, however it is still in active service today.


17. Kalinin K-7


This Russian flying fortress is another experimental aircraft to make it onto our list, designed and built in the early 1930s. The configuration of this military plane was quite unusual, thanks to the large pods under the wings to hold machine guns and landing gear. Its first flight was in 1933 and it showed some serious instability, which led to a few design changes and yet another test. Unfortunately, the plane crashed and burned and the project was abandoned.


18. Tupolev Tu-160


This aircraft entered IOC service back in 1987 and full service in 2005. Designed and built in the Soviet Union, the Tupolev Tu-160 is the largest aircraft in the world in terms of combat, supersonic, and variable sweep. Only a few military transporters or civil planes are actually larger than this strategic bomber. A modernization program has been underway since 2014 to update these huge planes.


19. Xian Y-20


This Chinese military transport plane was officially launched back in 2006, but didn’t take its first flight until 2013. It was officially introduced in December 2015, after years of testing and various prototypes. Known as ‘Chubby Girl’, this plane has 4 prototypes in service currently and more are being built as at March 2016.

 

 

20. North American XB-70 Valkyrie


The name of this plane may ring a bell, as Valkyrie is known in Norse mythology as ‘the chooser of the slain’. It was built to be armed with nuclear weapons and to reach such a speed that it would be practically immune to interceptors. Essentially, this was going to be one seriously deadly aircraft. The program was started in the early 1960s, cost $1.5 billion, and then was scrapped in 1969.


21. Airbus A380


The Airbus A380 is a double-deck, wide-body, four-engine jet airliner manufactured by European Union manufacturer Airbus. It is the world's largest passenger airliner, and the airports at which it operates have upgraded facilities to accommodate it.
For more, see the wikipedia page.



World's largest passenger jet as at 2017


22. Vulcan Aerospace Stratolaunch





The Stratolaunch vehicle was unveiled in 2017. The aircraft has 385-foot wingspan and, powered by six Pratt & Whitney engines (used on Boeing 747 aircraft) has a maximum takeoff weight of 1.3 million pounds. The Stratolaunch's wingspan is the largest in history, blowing away the previous record-holder (Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose) by 65 feet. 

Vulcan Aerospace (established by Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen) says its Stratolaunch airplane will have an operational range of 2,000 nautical miles. Serving as a reusable first stage for rocket launches, the Stratolaunch system is capable of delivering payloads to multiple orbits and inclinations in a single mission.




Worth a mention...


The Tupolev ANT-20 Maxim Gorky (Russian: Туполев АНТ-20 "Максим Горький") was a Soviet eight-engine aircraft, the largest of the 1930s. Its wingspan was similar to that of a modern Boeing 747, and was not exceeded until the 211 ft (64.6m) wingspan of the American Douglas XB-19 heavy bomber prototype that first flew in the early summer of 1941.




Also worth a mention...


The Hybrid Air Vehicles HAV 304 Airlander 10 is the largest (lighter than air) aircraft in the sky today (2016/2017)
  • Length: 91 m (298 ft 7 in)
  • Width: 34 m (111 ft 7 in)
  • Height: 26 m (85 ft 4 in)
  • Envelope: 38,000 cubic metres
  • Engines: four × 350 hp, 4 litre supercharged V8 diesel

It's really big!